// slash //



"So what's this website you want us to see, Lance?" JC flops down on one of the couches in Lance's room, elbowing Joey. "Move over."

"I was here first. Besides-" Joey shoves Justin's leg off his lap- "Timberlake here's taking up all the room. We gotta stop feeding him or something."

Justin waves his middle finger in the air and stays right where he is.

"I'll just stand, shall I?" Chris shakes his head. "You young'uns. No respect at all."

"Chris." JC pats his lap and smiles. "Sit here."

"Oh hey-- no way." Joey holds up his hand. "I'm not sitting beside the two of you if he's gonna be all in your lap. I remember what happened last time, and just. No. I still don't believe his pants came undone by accident, you know."

Lance snorts, and taps the screen of his laptop. "Here. If y'all will shutup for just one minute-" -and he glares at Joey who's still hissing threats at JC- "then I can tell you about what I found."

"Get on with it, Bass," Justin says, stifling a yawn. "You said it was something cool, right? So hit us with the cool already."

"'So hit us with the cool already'? Who talks like that?" Chris looks at Justin. "I don't think I ever talked like that. Did I ever talk like that, C? I didn't, did I?"

JC shrugs. "I don't think so-"

"Do you want to hear about this or not?" Lance's voice, and from the tone of it, the eye-rolling is imminent.

"Go ahead, Lance. We're all ears." Chris smirks at Joey as he wriggles onto JC's lap, JC sighing happily.

"Well, see," says Lance with a huge grin, "I've discovered this thing called slash."

***

Lance is slumped in a chair, face thunderous, and he scowls at Joey as he walks past.

"What's up with him?" Joey tilts his head towards Lance. "He looks pissed."

Chris' voice is full of amusement. "He is. He can't get his drabble down to just 100 words."

"It's a fucking stupid rule," Lance rumbles. "Who says there only has to be 100 words anyway?"

Justin looks up from where he's tapping away on his laptop. "It's the rules, Lance. There's, like, a drabble law and everything. 100 words exactly, or it's not a drabble. Suck it up."

Lance flicks up his middle finger and mutters under his breath about fascism.

"Mine's gonna be an AU," Justin announces, to no-one in particular. "Set in a prison. And hey, Joey?"

"Hmmm?" Joey looks up from where he's booting up his computer. "What?"

"You're totally my bitch." Justin smiles. "You get to do what I tell you."

Lance rolls his eyes. "Like he doesn't already." Justin glares at him, and hisses, "100 words, Bass. 100 fucking words."

"Now now, kids." JC strolls into the room, a notebook under one arm, and a pink pen sticking out of his mouth. "There's porn to be written. Don't fuck up the ambience. I need a peaceful atmosphere for writing in."

Justin bites his lip to stop from laughing. "Where's your laptop, C? I thought you were gonna do this slash thing too?"

JC taps his pen against the cover of his notebook. "Handwriting it," he beams. "I'm doing mine the proper way."

"Oh, come on-- like there's a proper way to write porn?" Joey's voice is incredulous. "Stop trying to make your blowjobs more arty-farty than ours, C. A blowjob is a blowjob, man. You know?"

"Actually," Chris says, looking up from where he's been typing away, "C's blowjobs are very arty, I'll have you know. So just shut your mouth, Joseph." He smiles at JC, and blows a kiss.

Lance leaps up with a whoop and starts to do a weird little dance. "Oh yeaaaah," he growls, shimmying his hips. "I am the man. Oh yeaaaaah."

"You are?" Joey asks. "And that would be because…why?"

"Because," grins Lance, shit-eating grin spread across his face, "I just wrote a drabble. All about rimming. 100 words, exactly. Take that, you fascist bastards!"

JC taps his pen against his teeth and sighs. "Houston, we have an over-achiever."

***

"And so what's a Mary Sue again?" JC frowns. "We pretend to be straight? And then fuck other men?"

Chris chuckles. "Um, no C. I think you've missed something somewhere along the way, dude."

Lance bangs his head on the desk and sighs. "C, I told you. You can't write about you and Chris, because…well, because you're really together, so I think it'd be classed as a Mary Sue. You'll have to write about Chris and someone else, maybe." He looks at JC. "And quit pouting."

"Am not pouting," mutters JC.

He is.

"It's ok, baby." Chris pulls JC onto his lap. "It's just a story. Just pretend. Just because you write about me with someone else doesn't mean-"

"I know. I know." He frowns. "But why can't I write a Mary Sue? Aren't you allowed Mary Sues in slash?"

Lance sighs. "Well, yeah, I guess you are-"

"Then that's what I'm writing," states JC decisively, wriggling off Chris' lap, and grabbing his pen and notebook. "I'm gonna write the slashiest Mary Sue in the whole fucking world. Me and Chris. Fucking constantly. All over the place. All the time. In every position ever invented. And we'll even invent some new ones. Oh god, yeah." He smiles blissfully, and adjusts himself in his pants. "Um, Chris?"

"Yeah, C?"

"I might need you to help me with some, um. Research, yeah. Like, right now."

Chris snaps his laptop closed with a grin. "Be right there."

***

"Stop looking, you fucker." Joey leans right over the keyboard as he types, shooting death-glares at Justin, who's hovering over his shoulder, trying to read the screen. "It's not done yet."

"Why can't I see it?"

"Because JC is my beta reader, not you." Joey points at Chris, who's smiling blissfully and typing, while JC sits at his feet, leaning back against his legs, scribbling in his notebook. "You get to beta what Chris is writing."

"Who gets to beta mine?" asks JC, waving his notebook. "Cos it's done. All eighty chapters. And oh boy, is it hot. I'm tellin' you. This slash stuff is great."

Lance sighs. "That'd be me, C. Eighty chapters? You're kidding, right?"

"Nope." JC shakes his head. "All handwritten, too. I even used my favourite glitterpen. It smells like strawberry. Here, sniff." He shoves his notebook under Lance's nose. "Nice, huh?"

"Just great," mutters Lance through clenched teeth. "Eighty fucking chapters of you and Chris screwing in strawberry-scented Mary-Sue land. I'm the luckiest guy ever."

JC nods happily. "Dude, you really are. I wrote a threesome scene in chapter fifty-three. You got to blow me." He grins. "You were actually pretty good."

"Uh huh." Lance looks at over at Justin, who's peering at Lance's laptop closely. "Are you done with the beta on my drabbles yet? All twenty of them, Timberlake-- 100 words, exactly. 100 goddamn words. I fucking rule."

Justin looks up, eyes wide. "I, um. Lance?"

"Yes?"

Justin sets the laptop down, and stands up, a weak smile on his face. "I might have. Um--." He edges towards the door, slowly.

"Justin?"

"--accidentally hit delete!" Justin shrieks, and sprints out the door.

***

"His is next." Joey points at Justin. "C'mon J, read us some of your prison AU. I'm sure it's wonderful."

There's a muffled snort from the chair where Lance is tied and gagged. JC reaches up and pats his knee. "It's ok, Lance. Justin said he was sorry. And hey, he said I could read you my Mary Sue later. He said you'd probably want to hear it all in one sitting too. I'm so excited!" He claps his hands and giggles, and Lance starts rocking backwards and forwards frantically.

"Careful, now, Lance," Justin smirks. "You look as if you're trying to tip yourself over so you'll hit your head and knock yourself out. But I'm sure that's not what you're trying to do, is it?" He puckers his lips and blows Lance a kiss.

Justin reads a chapter of his story and there's a polite round of applause from everyone. Everyone except Lance, who just makes a strangled shrieking sound and rolls his eyes so much they're in danger of falling out of his head.

"Is it my turn?" Joey stands up and smiles. "I wrote mpreg."

"M-what?" JC looks confused. "What's that?"

"Well, " replies Joey, "so you're a girl, right?"

JC shakes his head and grabs himself. "Um, no. No, Joey, I'm not. Boy parts here."

"No, I mean, in my story. You're a girl in my story."

JC looks sceptical. "Okaaay…"

"And you're pregnant, right?"

"Jesus, Joey. You're fucked up." JC's face drains of all colour. "I might be a girl, but dude, you got me knocked up? Chris'll kick your ass, man."

"Well, no, see." Joey frowns. "It's actually Chris' baby."

"Does it have wings?" Justin, from where he's poking Lance with a pencil. "Because I kinda like the stories where we have wings. I always have the coolest wings in those stories."

JC looks at him. "Justin. Babies don't have wings. Get real."

"Well C, boys don't get pregnant, either." Justin flips him off.

"I'm a girl, Justin," JC snaps. "Honestly, if you can't follow the story, then just shut up."

"Shut up, all of you." Chris stands up. "It's time for my story now."

"Ok." JC smiles happily. "Shhh, everybody. Shhh. Chris is gonna tell us his story now. Chris?"

"Thanks, C. Ok. My story is what you'd call a GSF." Chris clears his throat and starts to read.

"Well, see," says Lance with a huge grin, "I've discovered this thing called slash."

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